“It’s the business deal of the decade.” As another hysterical voiceover breaks its broadcasting waters over the feet of business, Series 7 of The Apprentice is born. “I started a global business, literally with nothing,” squints Melody Hossaini. Ding ding! … Continue reading
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Episode Thirteen. Also known as Episode Surely One Of Them Must Win By Now. Or Episode Can’t This Moron Just Ring Reed Like The Rest Of Us? Or Episode If He Doesn’t Hire Someone Soon I’m Staging An Intervention. That’s … Continue reading
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And so we come to the penultimate stage of the competition. Which Hollyoaks Jamie probably thinks is a fight to the death using pens. According to the narrator, Lord Sugar is still looking for that ‘exceptional’ someone to rub his … Continue reading
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Britain’s most belligerent boss and the oldest mod to ever be seen leaving a lift is still on the search for a teasmaid. Or a photocopier. Or something. But in the fight to become The Apprentice, only the formidably stupid, … Continue reading
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During the Roman age, citizens and subjects would take part in a festival of such ferocious drunkenness, such sexual licentiousness and such moral degradation that people were assumed to have gone temporarily insane. This bacchanalian frenzy could last up to … Continue reading
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Like an uneasy cat, the sixth series of The Apprentice has had eight lives so far. Eight aspiring men and women thrown to the hungry lions that are Dara O’Brien and the JobSeekers queue. Strangely, out of all the roaring … Continue reading
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And so, there are eight remaining figures fighting for a six figure salary. Instead of simply ringing up a recruitment agency, like most sane-minded CEOs, Lord Sugarpuff is still insisting on finding his new teasmaid via television humiliation. Well, we … Continue reading
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Watching the opening sequence of the Apprentice it’s hard not to bring to mind the Honey Monster, what with all these mentions of cereal entrepreneurs and Lords of Sugar. So, who are the Sugar Puffs and who are simply puffed … Continue reading
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The Apprentice opening credits are starting to look a little like the obituaries section of the Oscars, so many of the little Lord Sugarists have been given the push. Oh well, at least we have this poignant look back at … Continue reading
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Before this week’s programme even kicks off, the BBC continuity announcer warns of ‘strong language’. Is this the week that Nick finally calls S’r’Alan a braying, tortoise-faced old git? Does Karen threaten to kick Nick’s wizened hangdog face inside out … Continue reading
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