Posted on October 10, 2010 by Nell Frizzell
“It’s the job interview from hell,” intones our narrator. And so the new series of The Apprentice begins. As the competitors descend on London, dragging their little wheelie suitcases behind them like a particularly aggressive union of navy-suited air stewards, we the audience are treated to a number of Total Wipeout-style to-camera sound bites.
“Everything I touch turns to sold,” quips Stuart Baggs, who seems to have had his childlike face cruelly inflated by a bicycle pump hidden down his PC World uniform. “I’m a maverick,” claims Alex, determined to “stand out” from the crowd. “I’m going to be the last woman standing” proclaims the Bambi-faced Liz Locke, who seems to have mistaken The Apprentice for a drinking competition.
The introduction then rings out with the cry “From a council block in Hackney to the House of Lords…” which means that Alan Sugar has travelled literally eight miles in his entire career. Take that Sir Cliff Richard.
Once this overture of overstatement is complete, we move to the boardroom at midnight. We know this because the narrator states, with earth-shattering imagination, “Midnight. The boardroom.” Competitors stand around what looks like the drabbest airport security lounge in all of Heathrow, giving each other the evil side eye before Sugar’s sotto voce secretary sends them in to get board.
“On paper you all look very good, but then again, so does fish and chips,” quips the rascal Sugar. He needs someone who’s dynamic and stands out, not a Steady Eddie or Cautious Carol. So he’s sending his troupe of Wild Williams and Reckless Ritas down to Smithfield market to get meaty. Specifically, to make sausages, which according to Lord Sugar, “sell in bucketloads”. This must be something of a surprise to any major supermarket, who usually sell them in packets, and is linguistically about as appealing as the idea of ‘a bin load of steaks’.
“Buy the meat. Make the sausages,” foghorns the narrator, who really is quite the poet. If the idea of staying up all night handling lumpy meat and tubs of rusk as strangers bark out meaningless buzz words around you sounds like hell, then welcome to Hades.
For the task, the competitors are split in to two teams; ladies on one side, gents on the other. Just like portaloos. The men are led by Karren Brady – the youngest ever managing director of a public limited company, the women by Nick Hewer, who apparently needs no introduction, so I won’t even try.
So, first stop; the names. The women’s team decide to call themselves Apollo, because ‘failure is no option’, which is news to the teams behind failed Apollo missions one to ten. As the son of Zeus and Leto, Apollo is also known as the god of the plague, but probably the less said about that the better.
Meanwhile the boys are in the pub, giving themselves a big round of applause for deciding between the names Synergy and Fusion, both of which sound remarkably like taurine-based-energy-drinks-cum-mid-90s-dance-acts. They are led by the Mr Potato Head made flesh Dan Harris, who “is all about getting results”. Dan also wins the prize for saying, just twelve minutes in, that he is putting his “balls on the line”. Taste aside, this is a fairly flagrant failure of food hygiene standards, even for sausages.
Once the meat is bought and the rubber gloves are pulled on, the actual sausage making doesn’t go too well. In the boys’ team no-one wants to do the mincing, while Paloma on the girls’ team is frantically trying to deal with ejaculating pork. Never mind, at least they can make up for it in the selling; the girls in a posh market in the City manage to sell to two restaurants, while the boys drag individual packets of sausages door-to-door in West London.
Once the pork du force is over, both teams head back to Alan Sugar HQ, which seems to be, according to the stock footage, simultaneously in both Canary Wharf and the Gherkin. Final figures are read out: the ladies took £321.16 profit, the gents just £305.90, making them the banger bums and liable to the loss of one member (ahem.)
Mr Potato Head Dan Harris takes the fall, for his quite staggering lack of skill and propensity to shout expletives at people in his team. During this fiasco, the girls are sent home for a, irony of ironies, champagne and sausage barbecue in their Georgian townhouse, no doubt to munch on Dan Harris’ so recently de-lined balls.
Conclusion: The Square Mile used to be full of barrow boys who had got lucky. The Apprentice is full of managing sales supervisor directing heads of chairmen who can’t sell sausages to a street market.
Quotes of the episode:
“I’m not afraid to get my hands dirty.”
“”My balls are on the line”
“It’s time to get down to business”
“You sell the sizzle, not the sausage.”
“I don’t want to talk in clichés”
Posted in Misc |
Tagged Apprentice Blog |
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Posted on October 8, 2010 by John Cronin
Property giant Peel Group has submitted plans for an office redevelopment in a building next to the Pie Factory building in Salford Quays.
Peel Media, a subsidiary of Peel Group Holdings and developer of Media City UK, has submitted plans to convert a 3 storey office block into a range of office suites suitable for small creative companies. The development will be known as The Greenhouse and is adjacent to the Pie Factory office scheme and the new campus for the University of Salford.
The 32,000 sq ft building has up until now been used as the site office for Bovis Lend Lease, housing 2,000 personnel during the construction of phase one of Media City UK. Peel Media aim to develop The Greenhouse into cost-effective, flexible office space for companies predominately working in the media industry.
Stephen Wild, managing director of real estate for Peel Media, said: “The Greenhouse will provide self contained office suites spread over three floors. It is located less than a minute’s walk from the new tram terminus at the heart of Media City UK and complements the media hub we’ve created at The Pie Factory. It is an ideal solution for small companies looking to be part of the Media City UK environment.”
Architects Stephenson Bell designed the plans for the exterior and interior of The Greenhouse and work will commence once planning permission has been approved. The full plans and application forms can be viewed here. Full details of leasing and cost options have yet to be confirmed.
The adjacent Pie Factory building, formerly a ‘Freshbake’ frozen pies production line, opened in 2007 and now acts as a media hub offering film studio and office floor space ranging from 3,000 sq ft to 6,800 sq ft. Current tenants within The Pie Factory offer services such as casting agencies, camera and kit hire, production services, outside broadcasting and software development. BECTU, the Media & Entertainment Union also leased office space within the building earlier this year.
The Pie Factory, which was initially built as temporary office and studio space alongside the acclaimed MediaCityUK development, is to be retained having become hugely popular with local businesses. Floor space is available on short term, flexible and permanent leases.
Posted in Manchester |
Tagged Media City, Planning, Speculative Developments |
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Posted on October 7, 2010 by John Cronin
Local opposition is growing a week after controversial plans for new council offices in Dorchester were approved.
As previously reported, the £60m mixed-use redevelopment plans for the Charles Street scheme in Dorchester that include the relocation of council offices were approved last week by West Dorset District Council’s (WDDC) development control committee. It has now emerged that members of the planning committee voted six to two in favour of the planning application. Since announcing their decision the council has received approximately 300 letters of objection.
The focal point for opposition to the scheme centres upon the WDDC plans to build new council offices at the site costing £10.5m (see artists impression). The council claims that the new offices will save £145,000 a year, a figure that local campaigners say does not justify the expenditure.
Mike West, co-founder of the Dorchester Forum website, told the BBC: “The offices have been there for 40 years and the council has maintained them. The amount of money they are talking of spending is out of proportion with any productivity gains they are talking about.”
This recent comment made on the forum this week indicates the strength of feeling amongst the campaigners: “Last Tuesday was a dark day for Dorchester and the misappropriation of taxpayers’ funds. Perhaps it’s time for those Council Tax payers who are opposed to the scheme sent a clear signal to WDDC that they are simply not prepared to fund their new multimillion-pound office block HQ.”
Councillor Robert Gould, leader of West Dorset council, who voted for the new offices said: “We simply can’t go on like this, spending huge amounts of tax payers money maintaining and running buildings that will never be suitable for offices. ”
One of the two councillors who voted against the plans at the meeting was Karl Wallace, county councillor for Bridport. He is quoted in the Bridport News as saying: “Although there were lots of members of the public there, a lot of their concerns weren’t actually planning issues – it was the financing of it.” Mr Wallace said he had objections to the size and mass of the building and believed it would be out of character with the historic street setting.
Residents opposing the new office scheme have called the plans “madcap” and an “eyesore”. A large group of placard-carrying campaigners protested outside the council building where the meeting was due to be held.
Developers behind the entire £60m Charles Street scheme are Simons Group. The company is aiming to start construction works in early 2011.
Posted in Dorset |
Tagged Planning, Public Sector |
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Posted on October 6, 2010 by John Cronin
Construction company Morgan Sindall has been awarded a £14.8m contract to build new civic offices for a West Yorkshire council.
It has been announced that a deal has been agreed between Morgan Sindall and English Cities Fund (ECF) for a 5 storey office building to be used as new civic offices for Wakefield Metropolitan District Council. ECF is a joint venture partnership which comprises urban regeneration company Muse Developments, Legal & General, and the Homes & Communities Agency.
The new office is to be built in Burton Street, Wakefield and will offer 123,000 sq ft of floor space. The office building is the second phase of the mixed-use, multi-million pound Merchant Gate development that covers an area of some 17 acres in total.
Other recently developed offices in this quarter of Wakefield include 1 & 2 Burgage Square and Emerald House (pictured). Number 1 Burgage Square offers 17,300 sq ft of Grade A floor space over three floors. Number 2 Burgage Square offers 19,600 sq ft of Grade A floor space, also over three floors. Nearby Emerald House has office floor space amounting to 10,000 sq ft on the first and second floors. Commercial agents King Sturge are quoting rental prices of £16.50 / sq ft for the phase 1 offices.
This first phase was opened this September and at the opening event Sir Michael Lyons, chairman of ECF, said: “Whilst many other developments across the UK have been on hold due to the current economic climate, ECF partners have pressed on with the Merchant Gate scheme which now provides contemporary apartments, Grade A office space, restaurants and retail for the people of Wakefield.”
The second phase office scheme includes open-plan floor plates with a central atrium, extensive glazing and external rainscreen cladding with terracotta tiles. Work on the concrete frame of the building is to start this month, following the completion of the piling and groundwork. Planning permission was granted in March, 2010.
Morgan Sindall is aiming to achieve a BREEAM rating of ‘Excellent’ for the scheme by introducing a biomass woodchip boiler, and using local suppliers wherever possible, in addition to control and management of waste on site.
The project is due to be completed in December 2011.
Posted in West Yorkshire |
Tagged Merchant Gate, Public Sector, Rental Prices, Speculative Developments |
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Posted on October 5, 2010 by Rob Powell
Nearly £2m of tax payers money was spent on offices in Northern Ireland that were never used, according to a report by a Northern Ireland Assembly watchdog.
The Assembly’s Public Account Committee investigated the Industrial Development Board (IDB), now replaced by Invest NI, and found that public money was squandered on unused offices.
25-year leases taken out in 1991 and 1992 on offices in Campsie, Londonderry, cost the tax payer £1.8 million but the offices went unoccupied.
Mr David Sterling from the DETI explained in evidence to the committee that at the time the leases were taken out, local unemployment was very high and the offices were an “innovative” attempt to market the area “as a location for back-office business processing-type organisations. ”
Mr Sterling said that he “greatly regretted” that a break clause in the fourth year of the leases was missed.
Committee chairman, Paul Maskey AM, said that an “absence of risk management” had meant that the “Department [of Enterprise, Trade and Investment] was left for 19 years with two white elephants it was unable to let.”
Posted in County Londonderry |
Tagged Public Sector |
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Posted on October 5, 2010 by John Cronin
A property development company is facing stiff opposition for a planned multiple office block scheme in Edinburgh.
Tiger Developments’ plans for a site at Haymarket in Edinburgh are facing strong objections from several heritage groups. Previous plans submitted by the developers for a 17-storey five-star hotel were thrown out in the wake of a public inquiry and now the company is seeking permission for new office accommodation along with a much smaller hotel and retail units.
The land is a gap site in Haymarket on the outskirts of Edinburgh’s world heritage site, next to the Haymarket railway station. The initial scheme, which would have seen an Intercontinental hotel built on Morrison Street along with offices affording floor space of some 335,000 sq ft, was supported by Historic Scotland and approved by councillors after just one hearing, despite widespread concerns about the height of the main building. The scheme was subsequently rejected by the Scottish Government in October, 2009.
Tiger Developments is now proposing four “environmentally-friendly and contemporary office buildings” – as well as a budget hotel on what is described as “one of Edinburgh’s longest existing gap sites”. The tallest of the new office buildings will be 8 storeys high. The Cockburn Association, the main heritage watchdog in Edinburgh said other than the removal of the towering hotel from the previous scheme, there was “little difference” with the new plans. It is claimed that the new office blocks will have a detrimental affect on views to and from the area and will be an eyesore thanks to its “lumpy” design and “ugly” buildings, which will “tower over existing properties”.
Cockburn Association director Marion Williams told The Scotsman: “The overall height of the development is a significant concern. The roofs of the proposed buildings are lumpy and cannot be considered a landmark”.
Campaigners say the new plans fail to link the buildings with other developments in the area, such as the redeveloped railway station building and the nearby Springside development. The latter development includes Springside One, a new 5 storey office block offering over 60,000 sq ft of flexible floor space with an estimated completion date of 2010.
Tiger Developments is part of the O’Flynn Group which is one of the largest privately owned Irish property and construction companies. The company hopes to gain planning permission for the Haymarket scheme by the end of 2010.
Posted in Edinburgh |
Tagged Planning, Speculative Developments |
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Posted on October 4, 2010 by John Cronin
Privately owned property investment giant Peel Group has today submitted outline plans for a £5.4 billion scheme in Liverpool.
Four years ago Peel presented its vision for the transformation of 150 acres of derelict dockland in Liverpool into a huge 14m sq ft mixed-use development. The scheme is known as Liverpool Waters and complements the £4.5 billion, 18m sq ft Wirral Waters redevelopment scheme that received planning approval in August.
The plans for Liverpool Waters have been scaled back from the initial footage of some 20m sq ft. Plans for the controversial, mixed-use hotel and prime Grade A office scheme called the Shanghai Tower have also been revised, lowering the proposed number of storeys down from 60 to 55. If built, the scheme will still be the tallest tower outside London. Discussions with planning watchdogs English Heritage, CABE and Liverpool City Council resulted in building heights being restricted to 15 storeys at the waterside through most of the scheme. Much of the existing office accommodation in Liverpool is in much older, lower-rise property and would be dwarfed by high, multi-storey office towers.
Peel Holdings are aiming to promote the scheme to potential Chinese investors at the 2010 World Expo in Shanghai that is due to end later this month. The aim is to promote Liverpool as a new international business destination with the city becoming the satellite location to service not just the UK but the whole of Europe. It remains to be seen if there is interest in such a large speculative development. As with the Wirral Waters sister development, both schemes have planned development timescales of 20-30 years and are unlikely to get off the ground without significant outside investment.
Cllr Joe Anderson, Labour leader of Liverpool City Council, said: “Liverpool Waters is a hugely ambitious and exciting scheme which has the potential to bring about the transformation of an area which has been in need of regeneration for decades. The scale of the project is breathtaking and it will benefit generations to come. We, along with other agencies, have worked with Peel to help shape this scheme but we do recognise that there are great sensitivities attached to it and there will be full consultation before a decision is made as part of the normal planning procedure to ensure the best possible outcome for the city.”
Communities Secretary Eric Pickles will now decide whether a public inquiry is required.
Posted in Merseyside |
Tagged Liverpool Waters, Peel Group, Planning |
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Posted on October 3, 2010 by Rob Powell
A £60million investment will see a former car park in Dorchester turned into new offices, alongside the creation of shops, affordable homes and a hotel.
The controversial Charles Street Scheme was voted through by West Dorset councillors last week – with the council themselves set to relocate to the new office space once built.
The move by the council into the new offices will cost £11million, but leader of the council, Cllr Robert Gould, told the BBC: “Obviously there is a cost to moving, but the figures show that this will be outweighed by the significant fall in running costs.”
Critics of the large development called it a “monster” and expressed concerns about the loss of mature trees on the site, but with planning permission granted, work looks set to begin early next year.
Posted in Dorset |
Tagged Planning |
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Posted on October 1, 2010 by John Cronin
The Crown Estate has named the new office scheme that is being developed in Regent Street, London.
The new development has been named AirW1 and will offer approximately 200,000 sq ft of prime, Grade A office space when completed. Availability is currently timetabled for Q4, 2011. The offices are part of a mixed-use new development in the heart of London on the site of the former 94 year-old Regent Palace Hotel.
The listed hotel has been demolished and redeveloped in to a mixed-use building containing 7 floors of office space. Many of the existing historic facades are being repaired and retained, while four glamorous 1930s entertainment venues are being completely restored within the redevelopment. The development is currently the largest being undertaken in the West End.
The scheme, originally named the Quadrant 3 development, is being managed by Stanhope plc. Architects behind the development include Dixon Jones and Johnson Naylor. Strict planning conditions were imposed by heritage and planning bodies and the developers have agreed to create a 44,000 sq ft public realm area as part of the office development. Planning permission was granted in 2007 and permitted a maximum of 7 floors of offices in the main building with additional, smaller offices in The Prow with access from the Glasshouse Walk entrance.
The offices will be serviced by a high-tech energy centre installed on one of three basement levels in the Quadrant block. The energy centre will be powered by a cutting-edge hydrogen fuel cell – similar technology used to power space shuttles. As such a BREEAM rating of ‘very good’ or ‘excellent’ should be expected.
The Crown Estate reported in February 2010 that Regent Street is an international business destination and as a landlord it provides serviced offices to over 300 businesses. Forthcoming office space schemes known as projects W4 and W5 (south) have also been submitted to the planning authorities. The Crown Estate aims to redevelop these two office blocks with a £200 million scheme to deliver two new office buildings each offering in excess of 150,000 sq ft of world-class retail and office accommodation.
Marketing agents for the AirW1 scheme are CB Richard Ellis and Jones Lang LaSalle. Rental prices have not yet been made available.
Posted in London |
Tagged Listed Buildings, Planning, Speculative Developments |
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Posted on September 30, 2010 by John Cronin
Online train tickets retailer thetrainline.com has chosen to lease office space in a premium office development in Edinburgh.
The independent retailer of online train tickets has taken 12,000 sq ft of floor space on a 10 year lease at the Tanfield office scheme in Inverleith Row, Edinburgh. thetrainline.com are only the second tenant in the large office development after project’s first occupier, Aecom, a technical and management support services provider, moved into the first floor of the building last autumn, taking just over 17,000sq ft.
The Tanfield building is now owned by the Carlyle Group and was the former offices of investment company Standard Life. Upon its opening in 1991, the building was one of the most ambitious developments in the UK and boasted the largest floor plates of any office in Europe. Having acquired the office in April 2007, Carlyle Group has since invested in a programme of renovation and redevelopment on the building and completed the works in around June 2009. The first lease was secured with Aecom in October, 2009.
Located on the northern edge of the city centre, the building now offers Grade A rated office space, available to let as self-contained office suites ranging from just under 7,000 sq ft up to the full three floors of over 190,000 sq ft. Each suite is accessed through a 78m long feature atrium via a double height reception area. The building has a BREEAM rating of ‘very good’. Corporate and Personal Services are available at the reception desk along with a concierge facility.
Market reports suggest there has been a lack of interest in the building and Carlyle has not disclosed the agreed rental price for the leased floor space. Despite news of this second letting in excess of 170,000 sq ft of space is still to be taken.
Mark Harris, director of Carlyle Group, said the firm has made several improvements to Tanfield since the development was opened last autumn. He told the Scotsman: “Since our first letting, we have strengthened our efforts to further develop facilities in the building, with the introduction of a concierge service to enhance the experience for those working at Tanfield, ensuring we remain the first choice for occupiers with office requirements in Edinburgh.”
Posted in Edinburgh |
Tagged Renovations, Serviced Offices, Speculative Developments, Tanfield |
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